What is motivation really? A strong desire and determination to work towards something greater. Sounds fantastic on the surface. But where your motivation comes from is very important:
Motivation can be a powerful fuel for positive change, as long as it comes from a healthy place.
Healthy motivation arises from sources aligned to your true nature such as inspiration, love, and a desire to contribute and serve. When you have the right motivation, you feel a deep calling to improve yourself and the world around you to the best of your ability. This is our natural state of motivation, before our conditioning and identification with unhealthy patterns rear their ugly heads.
Healthy Motivation
Here are some examples of healthy motivations:
- Inspiration from within
You feel pulled, not pushed. (see intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation)
“I saw a dancer moving so freely, and something in me said, I want to feel that way in my body too.”
This isn’t about fixing what’s wrong with you, it’s about feeling freer and lighter.
- Love for yourself or for others
You care deeply about someone, and you act accordingly.
“I want to have the energy to play with my kids and be here for them.”
Or: “I’m taking care of my body because I finally believe I’m worth caring about.”
- Inner peace
You’re seeking groundedness, not approval.
“I want to let go of the noise and stress, and live in a way that feels honest and peaceful inside.”
Unhealthy Motivation
Unhealthy motivation is when your desire to achieve has its roots in unhealthy stories from your past. In this context, the drive for achievement is fueled by unconscious fears of inadequacy, rejection, failure, and unworthiness. Rather than facing these feelings directly, people attempt to perform their way out of suffering.
This never works long-term.
Maybe you feel an incessant drive to accomplish more so that you’re recognized by your peers.
Or maybe you’re motivated to make a ton of money so that you will feel safe or “successful” (i.e. good enough).
The challenge for most people is that unhealthy ambition is usually driven by unconscious patterns. So you move through life on a roller coaster, alternating between bouts of zero motivation to do anything good for yourself, and a superhuman drive to completely revolutionize your life – both without ever having a real understanding of what’s driving you.
Unhealthy motivation tends to correlate with performing actions as a means to achieving a particular emotional state.
For example, maybe you get motivated to lose weight. Great – as long as that motivation comes from a healthy emotional place. Here are some possible negative motivations to watch out for:
- Shame about appearance
“I hate the way I look in pictures.”
This often comes from societal beauty standards, or past hurtful experiences of being criticized, bullied, or rejected due to body size.
Feeling ashamed is, at its root, feeling like there’s something wrong with you, that you are somehow defective or not good enough.
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
“If I don’t lose weight, no one will want me.”
This motivation is fueled by the belief that love or acceptance is conditional upon looking a certain way.
- Past trauma or bullying
“I was called ‘fat’ all through high school.”
Old wounds can fuel present-day actions, especially when they’re not properly emotionally processed. Many people unconsciously try to “rewrite” their past by changing their bodies today.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to change your body today – that’s the whole reason we’re here! I just want to double-check that your motivation is truly to get better today, vs trying to make up for shame in your past.
Because good, clean motivation works! But motivation that comes from trying to undo what happened to you in the past will always end in self-sabotage and failure.
- Fear of infirmity or death, driven by anxiety
“I’m terrified of dying early like my dad because of being unhealthy.”
This may seem like a positive motivation (health!), but when it’s rooted in anxiety or catastrophic thinking, it is more fear-driven than growth-driven.
- Social comparison
“All my friends are so much thinner. I never feel like I fit in.”
This stems from constantly measuring oneself against others (especially common on social media), leading to feelings of inferiority and unhealthy pressure to conform.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Motivation
It is the context of your motivation that determines whether it supports or undermines you, not the content. This means that it’s less about whether you want to lose 50 pounds or not, but where that desire comes from.
Continuing to feed unhealthy ambition simply reinforces the underlying patterns that drive it. Sure, chasing that big goal might get you what you think will make you happy someday, but it doesn’t really help you grow in a deeper, more meaningful way.
On the other hand, when you take a moment to get curious about any unhealthy motivations that may be driving you, you actually start to rise in a different way – toward more empowerment, peace, and self-awareness. And from that higher, more grounded place, it’s a whole lot easier to see what direction truly makes sense for you.
Healthy ambition is like clean fuel. When you run on it, you can sustain your energy and activities for long periods of time. Endurance comes naturally because you’re doing things that are intrinsically rewarding, instead of needing to achieve some outcome to feel good about yourself.
Unhealthy ambition is like dirty fuel. You can drive for a bit with it, but it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to sustain yourself or avoid breaking down. At a basic level, this happens because you’re constantly chasing the next thing, thinking that one more accomplishment, milestone, or dollar will bring happiness.
This keeps you locked in a cycle of stress and overreaching, never quite able to recover and actually enjoy your life NOW. Eventually this becomes unsustainable, leading to burnout, frustration, and often self-hatred.
Healthy motivation provides an ongoing path to well-being and happiness, while unhealthy motivation keeps you spinning your wheels and repeating old patterns.
When you begin examining your motivations, you may discover that some (or most!) of your previous ambition was driven by unhealed wounds.
Summary
At the end of the day, the most powerful kind of motivation isn’t the one that barks at you from the sidelines, it’s the one that shines quietly from the center of who you really are. When you move from love instead of fear, from inspiration instead of insecurity, everything just starts to work better. Life gets smoother, motivation lasts longer, and your goals feel less like pressure and more like natural next steps.
If any of this hit close to home, and you’re ready to stop hustling for approval and start creating change from a grounded, empowered place — consider coaching. It’s not about fixing you. It’s about uncovering what’s already right and wise within you, and learning to grow from that place. If you’re feeling the nudge, let’s talk. Our work starts wherever you are right now.