Have you ever noticed how many good, honest people turn into liars when they think about improving themselves? Stop lying, and start changing! Here’s how to keep your resolutions:
It’s amazing to watch people of all ages and from all walks of life tell themselves lies about what great changes will be made in their lives with the next “thing” they are going to try (or do, or eat, or buy). The bold truth is that most people who say they are going to make changes are lying to themselves. Maybe you’re one of them. Take New Year’s Resolutions, for example:
Lie #1: This time things are going to be different!
For most people, 2015 is going to be exactly the same as 2014 was.
Because their thinking is exactly the same as it was last year and, as the saying goes, if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.
Keep reading — in just a moment I will teach you 3 easy steps to break this cycle.
Lie #2: “As soon as I get back into the swing of things, I’m gonna _____________ “
“I just need to wait until things calm down at work,” or similar procrastinations are used to delay things until “the time is right.”
But wait a minute — Wasn’t work, school, or your other favorite excuse the reason you couldn’t achieve your goals BEFORE New Year’s?
Below is a simple strategy that will get you to SUCCEED instead of just WANT:
Step 1. Write down the end result, not the resolution — the thing you want, not what you promise to do.
Step 2. Figure out WHY you want this goal.
This step is crucial, because people don’t do what they know they SHOULD do, they do things that create the physical and emotional states that they desire. You have to figure out what the goal in Step 1 really MEANS to you. For example:
This past year I started working with a lady who had struggled with her weight for many years. She started weight loss plans frequently, sometimes succeeding but nearly every time found that she quickly regressed back to her old weight, and very often added more.
When I asked her why she wanted to lose weight she looked at me in disbelief. “Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you see how overweight I am?”
“Lots of people are,” I replied, “but that doesn’t explain why YOU want to lose weight.”
“Because I want to fit into nicer clothes” she responded. “I want to wear pretty things.”
“Because prettier clothes will make me look prettier,” she said with her discomfort now becoming obvious.
“Why is that important?” I pressed on.
“Because…” (she started to cry now) “…I feel ugly the way I am now….”
“… and I want to feel pretty so that I can meet someone and I won’t be alone anymore… I want someone to love me…”
and the tears flowed.
Now, you might be sitting there thinking ‘poor girl’ and wondering why she was put through such an ordeal just to help her set a goal. It may have sounded cruel to you. Well, speaking the truth worked — here’s the rest of the story:
From the moment that meeting ended, this lady began an amazing metamorphosis. She lost over 50lbs (and is still losing more!), looks happier, feels incredible, and now has a relationship with someone who loves her like crazy.
I asked her not long ago, “What was the turning point in your life? What changed everything for you?” and her answer was simple:
“I stopped lying to myself. I finally told the truth about why I wanted to lose weight, and as soon as I did, I realized that losing it was the only way for me to be happy with myself.”
She took away the SHOULD, and figured out WHY. That’s what WHY does for your goals.
Step 3. Write down what you have to do to achieve your goals.
Get specific. If your Step 1 goal is “Get more sleep”, maybe your Step 3 would be “Be in bed by 11 o’clock every night.” If your Step 1 goal is “Eat less junk food”, perhaps one of your Step 3 actions would be “I will not eat while I watch TV”.
Resolve to do Step 3 instead of Step 1. This is how you will achieve success. A resolution doesn’t get you anything. ACTION gets you somewhere. Folks who resolve an OUTCOME (Step 1) instead of an ACTION (Step 3) come out of the gate motivated to get their goal but, well, life just always seems to get in the way. They wait a day or two before taking action — waiting for things “to calm down”, or waiting “to get back into the swing of things.” Then a week has gone by, then two, then three and, before you know it, the goal has fallen by the wayside.
They never DID anything. They are still just WANTING things.
WANT without ACTION will stay WANT forever!
So what’s it going to be? Are you going to keep WANTING, or are you going to DO something?